“Because I lost 10kg 3 years ago, means I can do the same now!” How many times have you told yourself this, only to realise that the weight just kept fluctuating up and down, and you ended up getting frustrated, disappointed? How many times have you tried motivating yourself only to realise it’s only so short-lived?
I am sorry to hear that and also sorry to say this: “Just because you were able to lose 10kg three years ago, doesn’t mean you can do the same now.”
Yes I said it.
But no, I didn’t mean to say you are incapable, lousy, or worthless.
What I am saying is that situation you were in, 3 years ago, and now are probably very much different. Consider and compare then and now, you probably have:
- Different lifestyle
- Different job hours
- Different priorities / commitments
- Different stress levels
- Different fitness levels
- Different eating habits
- Different sleep routine
- Different perspectives, etc
And this list isn’t exhaustive. So by just saying “Because I did it then, means I can do it now.” will not help you. In fact it will just cause more disappointments and frustrations for yourself.
So now what? Does it mean you gonna stay this way? Not unless you see things differently (pun intended).
What I am going to offer you is a different perspective to see the current situation you are in. And I invite you to read this with an open mind. To help illustrate better, let me share with you a story of one of my clients – J.
We all have a J in us.
Before giving birth, J used to be very active. She ran 3 times a week, strength train 2 times a week, cooked her own meals and went to bed early. She was also having lesser stress at work. In a span of 9 months, she lost 10kg, became stronger and energetic and felt more confident about herself. Her clothes were also fitting better too.
After giving birth, J stayed home pretty much to take care of her baby. At that point of time, she also got promoted, was given more responsibility to handle. She got even busier than before, having to juggle between her baby and work. She had to wake up in the middle of the nights to feed her baby. Because of this, she didn’t get time to move around or exercise. In this process, she gained 10kg.
Now, she wants to lose this 10kg so she resumed her training with me. But because of her current lifestyle, she can only strength train 1 time per week, and this is pretty much the amount of time she can commit for exercise. After a couple of weeks, she asked why isn’t she losing any weight. She also got frustrated at times when she saw her weight increased.
I am pretty sure many of you feel the same way as J.
So rather than having to go through cycles of short-lived motivations followed by sense of disappointment and frustration, I invite you to take a step back and to look at this situation in a different way. Ask yourself these questions:
- What is different now? (Job? New born? A passing of a family member?)
- What are my top 3 priorities? (Is health and wellness one of them?)
- How much time am I committing to these 3 priorities? (Give a percentage to each)
- What strengths did I use to achieve the results then?
- What/who helped me in achieving the results then?
- How can I use those strengths in my current lifestyle to move myself forward?
I didn’t want to overwhelm you so I stick to only 5. But I hope as you are asking yourself these questions, it gives you more clarity. If health and wellness isn’t your priority now, it’s fine, and now you understand why you get frustrated, because you are chasing something that you don’t see as important as the others for now.
However, if health and wellness is important to you, how much time are you committing yourself to? Do you have to subtract some time off other stuffs?
While we understand situations always change, but our strengths don’t change much. We always do what we are good at! If you identified the strengths you used previously were determination, committed, or planning your schedule well, use those in your current lifestyle too!
If you identified that it was your spouse or your friend who created accountability for you or you used phone reminders to remind you to practise deep breathing in your sleep routine, how can you then create a similar experience for your current lifestyle?
This post by no means is going to give you solutions because there’s no problems to start with. It will, however, allow you to gain clarity and direction, and to re-discover that you have, all along, the resources and strengths in you to tackle the ever changing situations.